lay your armour down.

how is it that no matter what music i listen to, it almost automatically makes me feel better?

last night i had the worst dream. to make a real long story short, my twin was killed by my mother, which would never happen. & to follow, my mother was killed by herself not five seconds after.
on that topic.
i sometimes wonder what goes through a humans mind when they are considering to off themselves. what could be circling around in their brain? perhaps nothing? or everything, which can easily feel like nothing, which helps me understand the sad feelings. & i feel like i know what depressed is. not even.
& you know what i hate? when people fucking make jokes about that shit. there is nothing that bothers me more. actually, it's not even that it bothers me. it's to the point that it just..hurts me. since i've seen it, been through that with stephen, & seen the family that embraced him. it makes things a hell of a lot different.